Apparently tomorrow, I turn 26. For some reason, it’s a much more special day for me than the past 25, or at least the ones that I remember. I’d like to celebrate my life and glad that I’m alive. I am alive. It’s kind of odd to brag about. But people die everyday—- real death and as well as the monotony of just existing and not truly living—missing those connections with loved ones. Both are tragic in their own way. I’m really lucky to be alive. And as for other people in my life. Instead of worrying why some people have to die and lamenting why some have died, I should be asking why I haven’t seized every moment with the ones still living. It’s not too late.
I’m Feeling everything. God damn it. Every day. I’m feeling everything. The cool air touching my skin, the warmth of a hug, and noticing the smile and laughter when another person understands my dumbass jokes. And the tears that run down my face, It’s not embarrassing, I’m not over dramatic, Its my body really letting me know, reminding me, that I’m a human being, and that there are so many people that I love in my life. I matter to people.

Apparently tomorrow, I turn 26. For some reason, it’s a much more special day for me than the past 25, or at least the ones that I remember. I’d like to celebrate my life and glad that I’m alive. I am alive. It’s kind of odd to brag about. But people die everyday—- real death and as well as the monotony of just existing and not truly living—missing those connections with loved ones. Both are tragic in their own way. I’m really lucky to be alive. And as for other people in my life. Instead of worrying why some people have to die and lamenting why some have died, I should be asking why I haven’t seized every moment with the ones still living. It’s not too late.

I’m Feeling everything. God damn it. Every day. I’m feeling everything. The cool air touching my skin, the warmth of a hug, and noticing the smile and laughter when another person understands my dumbass jokes. And the tears that run down my face, It’s not embarrassing, I’m not over dramatic, Its my body really letting me know, reminding me, that I’m a human being, and that there are so many people that I love in my life. I matter to people.

Wow. Robert Smith from the Cure is back. He did a collab with Crystal Castles.

Haha, this came out of no where! But I am pretty happy about this

The Best Spanish Song I’ve ever heard.

Maybe the most romantic song I’ve heard as well.

(its been like 5-6 years and it still sounds brand new to me.)

I always post this song up again after a year or two. =]

Haven’t taken photos lately, I like this picture of the three seniors.
“Best Friends at 80? Possibly.” 
(moniques bday photos, more to come.)

Haven’t taken photos lately, I like this picture of the three seniors.

“Best Friends at 80? Possibly.” 

(moniques bday photos, more to come.)

This song really makes feel like life is one big outdoor Orchestra. Everyone has an instrument and everyone is watching, contributing all at the same time. It’s funny, sometimes, certain songs reminds me I have a soul. 

“in sleep is the only place she gets to see him, to love him, she loves him”

Feeding off Hate, Maybe, Not a Good Idea…

People always say, “hate me, it only makes me stronger” or 
“haters want to hate, haters want to play, Well I ain’t playing”
(okay, I totally made up the second one up, because it sounds funny)

The thing with me is that I can’t feed or thrive off of hate, 
Retaliation does feed me in a way, like everyone else. But it changes me.
Ultimately, its for acknowledgement, that we’re not wrong, It’s something innocent to want and have. It’s innocent, but only for so long…

So what do I do, when i’m in the midst of so much unkindness?
I suppose I should seek love and hopefully all the negativity becomes white noise.
I can’t possibly feed off of hate, at least, not anymore, It will eat me up and turn me into a monster thats far worse than I was ever in my life. Like a dark Charizard or dark Arthas from Warcraft 3.

In the midst of great horror. At times, I can easily be horror itself.